Words Lost in the Wind
by Descendant of Truth
Summary: As X struggles to cope with Zero's deactivation, Alia does her best to keep the HQ running normally. But X is far worse off than she thought. He spends his free time visiting his fallen friend in an attempt to manage himself, but he's only getting worse as the years pass by. It's only a matter of time before he breaks completely. A prequel to the Zero games.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own MegaMan X, MegaMan Zero, or anything related to the MegaMan franchise. These rights belong to Capcom.**

 **So, I was brainstorming ideas for a MegaMan X fanfic, and I came up with... this. All of my funny ideas seemed to work better in comic format, and this idea suddenly came to me when I was trying to figure out the Zero series... to be honest, I've never played the Zero games. But I have played MegaMan X1-X6, as well as Command Mission when I was younger, and I have a loose understanding of the Zero plot. But this seemed to be a good way to challenge myself, given that I don't usually write dark fanfics. All of my other stories are comedy.**

 **Also, credit to Soundless Memory for coming up with the initial idea.  
**

 **So... I hope you all enjoy it!**

* * *

The sun was warm, shining through the clouds like it always did on a mild spring day. The light, in turn, filtered through the leaves of the trees, shining through everything, really. It wasn't very late in the day, though; in fact, it was just reaching late sunrise. The clouds seemed distant on the horizon, and everything had been highlighted a relaxing gold color. It was a reminder of how peaceful things were now.

After the last war, people had been slowly picking up their lives from the damage Sigma had done. I was proud to be a part of it—after all, this is what I always wanted, wasn't it? Peace between people and Reploids. Dealing with paperwork was difficult, even annoying at times, but it seemed far away, too. Kind of like this sunrise. Perhaps comparing it to homework would be less melancholy, but this seemed more fitting.

It was only a matter of time—time that seemed to go by incredibly quickly, I thought—before I had abandoned the paved road in the forest and arrived at a lone building surrounded by dense overgrowth. The plants were planted several years ago, actually—a way to keep the place hidden, courtesy of Alia and I. We mostly let them grow at their own pace, but when we decided it was simply taking too long for them to cover the area, we used the most recent technology to help them grow quicker. I didn't really know how they worked, although Alia kept trying to explain it to me.

Alia is really smart. Her spot-on advice and amazing tactical thinking had helped me so much on more missions than I could count, so I was happy to be able to spend some actual time getting to know her, even if we were spending that time planting, and not for a reason I was very happy about. For example, she apparently liked playing the piano and a human sport called "soccer."

I tried not to think about how much had changed, even if most of it was for the better. The fact that people and Reploids were finally having a moment of peace was wonderful, but it was sad to see the facility in this state; hidden from civilization for their own safety, already looking as though it had been abandoned for years. I suppose it had been, but with the way I had almost constantly been visiting it, it didn't really feel like it.

I punched in the security code on the door, which slid open once it was confirmed. There wasn't any disturbance as I walked across the hard metallic floor, silently wondering if the cracks in the walls had always been there. I suppose not. That would have been a terrible design flaw. But perhaps it was easier to think that they had; maybe it would be simpler to think that nothing had changed.

After entering yet another series of passwords and ID authorizations, I finally came to a clear, open room. Part of me wondered why _this_ room was so big in comparison to the hallways, but it didn't really matter that much. What _did_ matter was the limp figure of a Reploid in the center of the room.

Zero.

He didn't quite look like the Zero I knew; this one was a little shorter, slimmer, and his armor lacked some key details. The most recognizable part of him was the solid blue gem on his forehead and his locks of long, golden hair. Most people wouldn't have made the connection that they were, in fact, the same person, but I knew. This was Zero. My best friend.

My best friend who was only kept from falling flat on his face because of the multiple cords and wires strapped to his back, attaching themselves to a huge mechanism on the ceiling. Supposedly, it was supposed to keep his vitals stable and strong enough to keep him alive, but it was hard to think of him as "alive" in the state he was in. His changed appearance and the way he seemed to be perpetually in sleep mode, it was hard to think of him as anything other than… gone.

 _Don't say that!_ I told myself. _It'll only make you upset. And Zero wouldn't want you to give up on him._

I approached his sleeping form ("asleep" seemed to be the only acceptable term I could force myself to use right now) and settled into a crouch to get a good look at his face. Well, as good of a look as I could get without laying on the floor and staring up at him, which would have both looked ridiculous and have been extremely uncomfortable. It was a minor disadvantage of his newfound lack of height.

"Some bedroom this is, huh?" I asked quietly, not expecting nor receiving an answer. "Personally, I think it could use a little more furniture. And maybe some windows…" I trailed off. What was I doing? Trying to hold a conversation with someone who could neither answer nor hear me? Still, it was slowly starting to become a habit of mine. Whenever I had time to spare, I would visit Zero to check on his condition. Nothing ever changed, but…

"I've been doing a lot of paperwork lately," I continued. "I know how much you get on my case whenever I slack off on paperwork, so don't worry, I've been keeping up-to-date on everything."

Once, when I was still a B-Class Hunter and Zero was still my superior, I had been given what felt like a truckload of paperwork concerning the financial status of Reploids in comparison to humans. Since Reploids were much more efficient—although, to my mind, no more or less important—than humans, they were much more likely to get hired and were being paid more than the average human. Some people were fine with it, but many were still anxious about Reploids at the time and were convinced we were stealing their jobs or something like that.

Now, I didn't see what I was supposed to be doing about that, my status as a B-Class preventing me from seeing my own influence as a father of sorts to other Reploids, and I wasn't very well-versed in the realm of paperwork at the time, so… I ignored it for a while. Bad choice on my part. Zero was livid. He said that it was an extremely important matter to society, a problem with the balance between humans and Reploids, and that if I was ignoring it, then I must not be taking them seriously. Then I didn't care about humans being equal to us.

That had been like a slap to the face, really. Of course I wanted equality and peace more than anything, but Zero has a way of making you realize your mistakes that makes you feel like a terrible person sometimes. So ever since then, I had made sure to look at any and all paperwork with equal seriousness and care, so that we could make a positive difference in the world.

Normally I would look back on that memory with a certain fondness—despite the fact that it involved Zero being mad at me—but now it just made me sad. Even if I did slack off on my paperwork now, Zero wouldn't be able to say anything about it. He… he wouldn't even know about it, right…?

I shook my head in an attempt to get rid of the thought. Awake or not, I couldn't afford to delay something like that. My time spent here was limited as it was. Instead, I tried to think of something else to say to Zero.

"…The world is peaceful now, Zero. We've completed our mission," I said, quiet discontent lacing my voice. "Your plan worked. We defeated Sigma, and… well, the humans are very upset, really. They're still blaming Dr. Cain and the Reploids for what happened; I'm not sure if they'll ever stop." I let out a joyless chuckle. "It's quite pointless, really. Why bother getting angry and placing blame on each other when you should be focusing on building peace?"

Granted, I always seemed to think differently from the rest of the world. When I wanted diplomacy, they wanted violence. It became an unending cycle that I was quite tired of. I didn't even want to think about that anymore, to be honest. Getting myself worked up over it now wouldn't accomplish anything, and besides… it would only upset Zero.

Speaking of Zero, he hadn't moved an inch the entire time I was talking to him. His face showed no sign of waking up from his sleep. But that was okay. It was always okay, wasn't it? This was how it had been for years.

"Oh, by the way," I said, trying to change subjects, "I got this new armor recently. It's actually much stronger than it looks, but it weighs less, so I can move around quicker, now." I stood up, gesturing to the armor in question. It actually looked more like a vest than anything else, but I'd tested it in the field and I knew it was no mere vest.

The rest of my armor had changed, too, but it was subtler. I now wore a black bodysuit instead of my traditional light blue one. I forced my face into a small smile.

"It kind of matches yours, now, don't you think?" I asked, Zero's form staying as still and emotionless as ever. Truth be told, I had modeled this armor after Zero's armor in this new body of his.

My smile quickly broke, letting out a sigh and kneeling down again. It hurt to see him like this. He used to be so full of life, stoic and professional as he was. He always had an air of confidence about him, like nothing you could possibly say or do would make him lose his composure. And now… he was like an empty shell.

That thought nearly brought tears to my eyes as I felt my chest tighten. Even if he was supposedly still alive, he was unaware. Unconscious. He couldn't tell what was going on around him, could he? My very presence was unknown to him. And that probably hurt the most.

I reached out to touch him, my hand hitting the cold force field surrounding him instead. I didn't even try to smile, even though I knew Zero hated seeing me when I was in pain. But that was just it, wasn't it? He didn't want me, or anyone, to be sad anymore, so he locked himself in this godforsaken room in a different body.

"You wanted to make everyone happy, right…?" I commented, feeling more and more lost as I went on. "Then why…" I felt myself choking on my own words. "Why would you do something like this? You're not making me happy, Zero. You… y-you're making very _un_ happy right now!" I curled my hand into a fist, my eyes threatening to start spilling tears. I took a shaky, deep breath. Zero, again, didn't react.

"Just stop it, okay? Stop doing that. Stop… being gone, already." I begged, finally deciding to let my eyes do whatever they wanted and let the tears spill onto my face. "…Y-you're not doing any good just sitting here! The world is trying to rebuild itself around you, the least you could do is help! Just… help me out here, would you…?"

I tried to remember what had led to this. But all that came to mind was Zero's half-conscious body, laying in a capsule, looking _too darn content_ with everything. I remember what he had said to me then.

" _As long I'm around, just existing… history will just continue… to be covered in bloodshed…"_

It was typical Zero, really. Always thinking of the world before himself… before those close to him. But what he had said was just… so sad. And wrong. But it was his choice, wasn't it? His choice to change the world. His choice to seal himself away. His choice to leave me all alone.

But I couldn't stay angry at him. No. This was _Zero_. My best friend in the whole world. How could I get angry at him for trying to make the world happy, after so many years of pure chaos and war?

"Because you left me here…" I answered aloud. "Because you left me alone without you."

"…" came Zero's response.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"…"

"Nothing?"

"…"

"…Fine, then. If that's how you want to be, so be it." I decided. "I have work soon, anyways." I started to walk off, but something stopped me. Maybe it was the thought of Zero being alone in here, this empty room with nothing but the machinery he was tied to keeping him company. Maybe I didn't want to leave feeling bitter about his lack of conversation. After all, my frustrations weren't all aimed at him, were they? If anything, I was angry at myself. Although I knew that if Zero knew that, he'd get on my case and tell me to stop blaming myself for everything. I know because he'd told me it before. Multiple times before, actually.

I looked back at his sleeping form, and a sharp pang of loneliness hit me. I wondered if Zero felt the same way, if he could feel anything at all.

"Hey, Zero?" I called out to him, even though I knew he probably couldn't hear me. "…I really enjoyed seeing you again. I'll be sure to come by later, okay?" I paused, then added, "You know, I really miss you, Zero. Do me a favor and… get better soon, okay?" I could hear my voice quavering, but I didn't care. Instead, I turned to leave. That office of mine wasn't going to run itself, would it?

And yet, all of that seemed incredibly far away. Like those clouds floating in the sky. Like, even if I could reach them, what would I do about it?

Thinking on it now, though, I kind of looked forward to seeing Alia at work today. Maybe I would ask her to teach me how to play the piano, just to keep my mind off things. But I still had to make time to visit Zero. After all, I didn't want him to get lonely in there without me. And… I don't think I could bear the loneliness without going to see him, either.

I blinked. Had the sunrise really gone by that quickly? Well, time certainly has a way of passing you by…

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Yeah, this got a little painful to write at a certain point. Not because I thought it was bad, but because I was hammering my own feels the entire time. I hope it was effective and a good read for you all! Please review!**

 **Edit: Changed one of the sentences because it was bugging the heck outta me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Megaman. It belongs to Capcom.**

* * *

"I just don't get it," I complained, "How am I having this much difficulty with this? I've multi-tasked in countless battles before—why should one song be so difficult?"

"Because, X," Alia replied, "playing a piano is a much different practice from combat. Just keep trying; you'll get it right eventually."

I sighed. We were at Alia's house, which I had learned was a medium-sized building with one bedroom. She had decorated the place with paintings and house plants, and she kept her piano in the living room. I had stayed true to my idea and asked Alia to start teaching me piano, which she was more than happy to do. That had been a few months ago, and I was getting pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. However, I was having quite a hard time figuring out how to play with both hands at once. Some songs were easier than others, but this one is particular was giving me a hard time.

"I just don't understand how I'm supposed to remember which notes are which on the left hand side," I explained irritably. "It's like trying to read two different sentences at the same time. I can't focus on one line of sheet music while still paying attention to another." Alia gave me a knowing smile.

"Just try playing the left hand first, and then try to add the right hand. There are always patterns to look out for when playing with both hands." She explained to me. "For example, while you're holding down this note here, your left hand supplies the next few notes over here. See?" I looked, and managed to let out a suppressed laugh.

"Always giving tactical advice, huh?" I commented. She smiled.

"Haha! Yeah, I guess so." She replied.

"It's easier teaching something than learning it, I suppose. Back when I was teaching Zero how to play the guitar, I…" I froze. My smile wavered. _Get a hold of yourself, X,_ I thought, _you're just telling an anecdote here._ I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. "…I remember telling him, "No, Zero, that's not how you hold a guitar pick. It's not a weapon, put it down." I'm not sure if he ever got the message." I managed to smile at the thought. The image of Zero curiously picking up the guitar pick and swinging it around like a ninja star or a Frisbee always put me in a good mood. Still…

"How was that any easier than learning piano?" Alia asked, trying to sound humorous but ultimately sounding troubled—most likely because of my hesitation. _Stupid me,_ I thought bitterly, _you didn't come here to make her worried about you. You're trying to feel better, remember?_ So, I replied,

"Because if nothing else, he paid attention. He picked things up surprisingly quickly after getting over his initial… mistakes. He hadn't been active for very long at the time," I explained, "But he wanted to learn because… well, he really liked my playing…" I trailed off. That's right. He _did_ like hearing me play the guitar. In fact, I can still remember that day; I probably would have started spacing out about it if Alia hadn't suddenly interrupted my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, X," she said sympathetically. "I wasn't trying to make you upset. Do you want to continue the lesson sometime later?"

"Oh, no, it's not your fault!" I replied frantically. "You didn't do anything wrong, I just—I got distracted, that's all. I'm fine, we can continue the lesson. Let's see, where were we?"

Alia smiled. A good sign on my part. The last thing I wanted to do was worry her with my own problems; if I was going to start thinking about Zero again, I'd have to do it on my own time. It would be unfair and bothersome to everyone else if I started breaking down in public, and even though this wasn't exactly a public setting, it would still be awkward for Alia. Instead, I started focusing on the sheet music in front of me.

 _I will conquer you,_ I thought to page. _I just need to figure out your secrets first._

* * *

It was later that day. I was in my office, sorting through the reports the 17th Unit members at sent to me that afternoon. Maverick outbreaks were still an occurrence, although I'm happy to say that with the Sigma Virus and the "Zero Virus" (I had never been fond of that name, but since the virus took on the form of a purple-themed Zero, it was only fitting) had been wiped out, the Maverick incidents had massively dropped in frequency.

I frowned. I didn't like that we could only have peace once Zero was gone. Sure, it was the fault of the virus he carried with him that made things difficult—as well as the nearly unending reactivation of the Sigma Virus—but that didn't make me feel any better about it. My best friend was _gone_ because of…

…Come to think of it, I wasn't even sure _whose_ fault it was. I think that made me angry more than anything else in that moment. Zero was dead, and this time I didn't have anyone to blame it for. I couldn't even take out my frustrations on the cause of all this mess—I'm assuming it was Zero's creator, who at this point would be long dead, anyway.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. I had to keep focusing on these reports. I think I had just skimmed over three paragraphs without actually processing what any of it meant. Great. Now I had to reread the whole thing. _Sorry about that, Jacob,_ I mused, reading the name of the soldier who turned in the report. _I'll get to your report right away._

Apparently, those three paragraphs were really important. It was about today's mission—a few Mavericks had started wreaking havoc and needed to be dealt with, but thankfully, little damage had actually been done. There were some injured civilians, but thankfully no one had died that day. I had sent a squad to deal with them; I could have gone myself, but the threat level wasn't all that great, and my team could use the hands-on experience without me there to help them.

But all that aside—apparently a small group of vigilantes had intervened with the mission, assisting my squad with the mission, despite being told repeatedly not to. The worst part was probably the fact that the vigilantes had managed to escape; didn't they know that vigilantism was illegal?! Why was it so hard for people to follow the law nowadays?!

I would have to give my team a lecture later that day, and some additional training on trying to catch someone trying to escape. But I guess my primary concern right now would be: how to find and arrest the vigilantes? Apparently, they called themselves "Red Alert" and had been doing this sort of thing for a while. I guess I just didn't know about them until now because I was busy dealing with, you know. Saving the world six times over.

But now that the war was over, this gave me a new goal. I hadn't really wanted a new goal besides playing the piano decently, but the world has a way of giving you responsibilities without asking. Like fighting in a war, for example. _That_ I could have done without. We all could have done without that.

 _Especially with the way it all came to an end…_ I thought, images of Zero being locked away in a capsule surfacing in my mind. I remembered meeting him for the first time, the way he gave me a look like he was trying to figure out what species I was.

Well… then he attacked me. He was clumsy and barely aware of his surroundings, but still, that wasn't exactly what I'd call a great first impression. Needless to say, I hardly wanted anything to do with him after that, but he eventually calmed down enough to let me near him without throwing a fit. Oh, how times had changed.

I winced at my own thought. I had _meant_ the fact that Zero and I had become such good friends despite our rocky start, but now I just thought of him lying there in the base… all alone… unaware of anything, even what I was feeling right now; how could he stand something like that? Was there any part of him left? Some part of him that was aware, lonely, _anything?_

It's not like I wanted him to feel bad for himself—I just wanted him to be alive enough to feel _something!_ Was that really so much to ask, I wondered, clenching my fist. I could feel myself trembling at the thought. Not being able to feel anything sounded like the worst possible option for someone. And yet he had _resigned_ himself to it?

"Captain X?"

Snapping out of my thoughts, I looked up to see a Reploid with purple armor and short, black hair—it was Allen, a B-Class Hunter; one of my troops.

"Oh, yes? What is it?" I asked. To be honest, I felt embarrassed, and yet, relieved. But at the same time, annoyed. Embarrassed because I had been stupid enough to leave my door open—of course someone would come in at some point. And it just _had_ to be during one of my emotional breakdowns. But I was also relieved because honestly, dwelling on thoughts like those was probably the least pleasant thing I've ever done. I just hoped that Allen hadn't noticed.

"Um, I just wanted to remind you that you were supposed to start training the rest of the troops ten minutes ago. I understand you're very busy, but, um…" Allen stuttered, visibly feeling awkward about the entire situation. I mentally slapped myself in the face. Of course, the training session! How could I be so absentminded as to forget?! I sighed in frustration.

"Right, I'm really sorry about that. I'll get down there right away." I paused. "Thanks for reminding me. I guess I've just been preoccupied lately." Allen relaxed a little, but he still looked nervous.

"You're welcome, Captain. And, um, I apologize for barging in. I should have knocked; it was very disrespectful of me…" he trailed off. I approached him, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"It's fine, Allen. No harm was done, and I needed the reminder. Just be sure to knock next time, alright?" I assured him. He straightened up.

"Y-yes, sir!" he responded.

"Now, let's get to that training room…"

* * *

Several hours had gone by. My team had performed well during the training session, but I decided that I would accompany on the next mission, just in case this "Red Alert" appeared again. After all, if they were fighting for peace, however illegally, it implied that they at least considered themselves to be on our side—they might be more willing to compromise than my previous adversaries.

With my work shift now over, and no other obligations to keep me busy, I decided to do what I had been doing for a few years now: visit Zero back at the old base. And I was about to do just that when Alia approached me just outside the current Hunter HQ.

"Hey, X, can I talk to you for a second?" she asked. I didn't really feel like talking to her at the moment, what with my mind distracted with other things, but it would be rude to refuse, wouldn't it? Besides, I was beginning to really enjoy and appreciate her company. Zero could wait a few more moments, right? So I said, "Sure. What's up?"

"Well…" she seemed to struggle to find the right words. "I've just noticed that you seem really distracted lately. You've been late to more than a few meetings, and your training sessions have been starting late as well. I was just wondering if you should take some time off." I gave her a bewildered expression. I mean, yes, those were all valid points, but… I had an obligation to the Hunters. I wasn't about to take time off just for personal reasons. Wouldn't that be irresponsible?

As if sensing my thoughts, Alia added quickly, "Just for a short amount of time, I mean. I'm not asking you to quit, you've provided a lot of help and support to the people in this city, but… I don't want you to be held up by any distractions." Her expression softened. "I know recent times have been hard for you. I'm not happy about it, either…. So I think, out of respect and understanding for your situation, maybe a break would be good for you, you know?"

Part of me wanted to snap at her, tell her that no, she didn't understand, she _couldn't_ understand—it wasn't _her_ best friend that had been deactivated, how could she possibly know what I was going through?

But on the other hand… she had an air of honest concern about her. Like, even if she _didn't_ know exactly what I was going through, she cared enough to offer a chance to help. There wasn't any reason for me to be mad at her; she was too kind and thoughtful for me to be angry. And besides, if there was one thing I knew by now, it was that Alia was almost always right.

And even though part of me wanted to stay a while longer to keep an eye out for Red Alert, the other part of me reasoned that there was no guarantee they'd show up soon at all. They weren't exactly active during the war last I checked, so maybe they were only just getting back into their routine?

"…Well, alright," I agreed. "You certainly know how to make a valid point. Just be sure to keep me posted in case anything serious pops up, okay?" Alia smiled.

"Of course. I'll inform your troops right away. Your second-in-command is Alice, right?" she asked. I nodded as a confirmation.

"She's really reliable. If anyone's going to take over in my absence, it's her." I said. I was about to walk off when I noticed that Alia seemed to be thinking something over, like she was going to say something and couldn't quite figure out how to phrase it. "Is there anything else?" I asked, curious about what she had to say.

"Well, it's just that…" she paused. "…If you ever want to talk about anything that's bothering you, you know you can always tell me about it, right? I mean… I really care about you. And I don't want you to shoulder all your problems by yourself, you know? So…"

I smiled. Alia really was a caring person. And it was nice, knowing that she cared that much about me. But since I couldn't really think of anything to say in response to that, I simply nodded and walked off. I wasn't sure if I intended to tell her what was on my mind or not; right now, I was focused on seeing Zero.

Still, I would have to meet up with her again later. She was becoming a good friend, and good friends were hard to come by these days.

* * *

"…and then it turned out that some group of vigilantes showed up to help finish the job," I explained, gazing upon Zero's sleeping form. "I guess they call themselves "Red Alert." From what I've heard, they're pretty well-organized; neither the police nor the Maverick Hunters have been able to put them in jail yet. It's troubling, but all things considered, we're doing much better now that the war is finally over. It's pretty much business as usual." I paused, half hoping for a response from Zero. Of course, none came, but I had been rambling for a while now.

It was hard, talking to Zero without his own input. He always managed to add his own flair to any conversation; whether it be a sassy remark, a silent nod, or just casually agreeing or disagreeing with whatever was being said. He was a pretty laid-back person, really, except for when you made him angry or if you had the misfortune of being an enemy. And even then, there was a certain professionalism that I had come to expect and appreciate from him.

Now he just looked defeated. And if there was one thing Zero hated more than anything, it was being defeated. He always had a discontent look on his face if he didn't get 100% on a training simulation. I always told him that he worked himself a little too hard, but in some ways, it was that hard work that made him such a respected and skilled Hunter.

"Also," I said, once again trying to change subjects, despite the fact that Zero wouldn't notice nor care. "I brought my guitar this time. The acoustic one, by the way, not the electric. Electric guitars don't sound as good when they're not plugged in." I didn't feel it necessary to explain the fact that I couldn't drag an amp all the way here to him. Technically speaking, he didn't need me to tell him anything, but it felt better when I talked to him.

"I figured, you haven't heard any music in some time… and, well, you're not exactly in a position to… to play anything…" I took a deep breath. _Don't focus on that, just play the song,_ I told myself. As soon as I started playing, I started thinking of when Zero had first heard it. It was years ago now, but the memory was still clear to me.

* * *

 _I was in a nearby music studio—one of the places I always went to wind down from a hard day at work. As much as I liked working as Dr. Cain's assistant, some time to myself was always welcome. I liked my free time just as much as anyone else, after all. And what better way to spend it than by playing some catchy tunes on the guitar?_

 _Since I only trusted my own amp to work with my electric guitar, I had decided to bring my acoustic one this time. Technically speaking, I didn't need to be in a music studio in order to play it—my house would have worked just as well—but there was something about being in an actual music environment that made the music itself sound better. Or maybe I was just being weird, I don't know._

 _I started playing one of my favorite original songs—I hadn't decided on a name yet—which was both fun to play and nice on the ears. Or at least, I thought so. I wouldn't exactly call myself a genius composer, but hey, I liked it, and that was enough._

 _A few minutes went by, and I was reaching the end of the song. It didn't have any lyrics—God knows I can't sing—but I didn't think it really needed any._

 _"Cool tune. What's it called?" a voice said out of nowhere._

 _I jumped in surprise, panic causing me to end the song early. I whirled around to see Zero standing in the doorway, his familiar calm expression on his face._

 _"Don't… don't_ do _that!" I exclaimed, aftershock still making me jumpy._

 _"Do what? Complement your song?" he asked, another familiar look of obliviousness lacing his expression. I resisted the urge to laugh. Zero, while he had proven himself to be relatively intelligent, he still seemed to be puzzled by some things. I couldn't blame him; he had barely been active for more than a week._

 _"No, just don't sneak up on me like that. It's impolite, you know." I explained. Zero seemed to consider this for a few moments._

 _"And being impolite is bad, right?" he wondered. I grinned. Sometimes his lack of knowledge seemed ironic; after all, he was almost always polite. Part of me considered the possibility that he was joking, but disregarded it._

 _"That's right. Being rude can hurt people's feelings sometimes. Or in this case, unnecessarily startle people. Don't worry about it too much, okay?" I replied. Zero gave me a puzzled look, as if to say, "How can I_ not _worry about that?" I thought for a moment. "How long have you been standing there, anyway?" I asked._

 _"About… ten seconds, I think. Why?"_

 _"Oh, nothing… just a little self-conscious, I guess." I replied, feeling a little embarrassed for some reason._

 _"Why would you feel self-conscious about me standing here?" he asked. Then he paused. "Do I make you feel uncomfortable?"_

 _"What? No, not at all! I just wasn't exactly expecting an audience, is all." I explained. The last thing I wanted to do was make him feel bad about himself. Although I'll admit, sometimes I felt a little wary around him, like he was going to suddenly start attacking me again like he did the first time we had encountered each other._

 _"Hmm. Okay. Do you think you could start that song over from the beginning?" he asked, processing the new information._

 _"Oh, um, sure," I agreed. I guess I had an audience now, unexpected as it was. Might as well not disappoint._

 _Despite my nervousness, Zero certainly seemed to be enjoying it. He had been bobbing his head up and down for the majority of the song, getting more enthusiastic as time went on, until he practically started head-banging. And with his ponytail flopping over his head in the process, it just started to look ridiculous. In spite of myself, I started laughing, pausing the song for a few moments. Zero didn't like that._

 _"Why'd you stop?" he asked, looking put-off by the whole thing._

 _"I think a better question is… pffft…" I tried to contain my laughter, but it quickly failed and I started bursting into laughter again. "What were you even doing?" I asked between laughs. Zero just looked confused._

 _"Um… head bobbing?"_

 _"Yeah, no. That was borderline head-banging," I countered._

 _"Banging? What are you talking about, I wasn't banging my head on anything," he replied, sounding as confused as he looked._

 _"It's an expression, Zero."_

 _"Oh."_

 _"And it looked hilarious."_

 _"Hey!"_

 _We both laughed before I picked up where the song left off. I was really happy to know Zero liked my song that much. I didn't think I had actually done that well in composing it. I guess feedback can really make you feel better about yourself. I'd have to keep that in mind for the future._

* * *

I had finished my song. Placing my guitar on the ground, I suddenly realized that I had been crying. That was odd. Normally, I noticed things like that. I guess Alia was right; I really had been distracted lately. I hadn't even noticed myself crying anymore. Did that mean it was becoming a habit?

That memory of Zero and I used to be so amusing to me. Now it felt bittersweet. We had been so happy, and now… now we'd never have that kind of conversation again. We couldn't laugh together anymore, no matter how much I wanted to. Zero couldn't even laugh by himself. There was no joy to be had anymore. Thinking of that just made me cry harder.

"It's not fair, Zero…" I whispered. "It's not fair that only I can laugh now. It's not fair that only I can feel anything. Why is it, Zero? Why is it that I'm always the one being left alone? You don't have to keep doing this, Zero. You can stop now…"

 _Stop making me feel so miserable…_ I thought. But it was no use, was it? It would never be any use now. But Zero wouldn't want me to give up on him, would he? I didn't know at this point. But what else was I supposed to do?

"Tell me, Zero… just this once. Tell me what I'm supposed to do now that you've abandoned me. You always know what you're talking about, right? So, please…"

And yet, I received no answer. That silence would plague me more than anything else ever had, or will.

 _Please, Zero._

* * *

 ** _I... I don't know what to say, you guys._**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything related to the Mega Man franchise. Mega Man belongs to CAPCOM.**

* * *

I stared intently at the screen in front of me, calculating the best route for the troops to take. There was a total of three possible ways to their destination-a clearing in the city where a mechaniloid had gone berserk. The mechaniloid had used some kind of transporter-jamming signal on the whole city, so that made teleporting straight to it impossible.

Instead, the troops of the 14th, 12th, and 17th Units had to get there by using land chasers. And that gave me a much more limited time to come up with a safe route for them-they were moving quite quickly, after all.

One route would have been a clean, straight path to their destination-except that the road was now under construction, making driving a challenge and not to mention illegal. The second route, while legal, was covered in dirt and boulders, making it a difficult terrain for a land chaser; even though they were made to hover above ground, those boulders made seeing where you were going almost impossible. Not to mention the fact that it would be extremely difficult to maneuver.

Which left the third option: the highway. That normally would have been the obvious choice, only... due to an incident during the war, the highway was still being repaired-there was still that huge hold in the bridge to deal with.

"Okay, troops," I said into my communicator, "The route with the least amount of obstacles should be right ahead of you. The main problem is that there is a large hole in the bridge-your land chasers _should_ be able to jump and accelerate to the other side, but it will take precise timing. Your other options are a construction site and the terrain to your right. Which way to go is up to you, but whatever you decide, _keep it organized._ We can't have you scattered about all over the place; your strength is in your skill and numbers, after all."

"Roger that, Lieutenant Alia," one of the captains responded.

I sighed inwardly. It's not that I disliked being referred to as "Lieutenant", but I had gotten used to being just "Alia" on missions. X and Zero always dropped the "Lieutenant" even in more formal meetings.

It was X who started that, actually. When he first joined the Maverick Hunters, he had a hard time remembering the Navigators' ranks. Since a Navigator wasn't a rank in itself (as a fighter I'm still a B-Rank, actually), and since different Navigators had different ranks, X kept forgetting what he was supposed to call me. Eventually I told him that he could just call me "Alia" if it bothered him that much.

And then I guess Zero started to pick it up from X, although he was annoyed about that at first. Eventually, he accepted it, though, and I guess I had, too.

But back to the matter at hand. The troops had decided to take the bridge route, unsurprisingly. Now I just had to sit back and hope they could all make it over the gap in the bridge.

That was the hard part of being a Navigator. Everyone else was out there, risking their lives for the sake of everyone, and I was just sitting here doing essentially nothing to help. But of course, the sensible part of my brain knew that what I was doing was essential for the Hunters' success. After all, they would be nearly clueless about any traps they came across, not to mention the fact that they needed my strategic skills in serious battles.

So, I had an important role to fill. But sometimes, when a particularly dangerous foe appeared, I wished I could do more than give advice. Although, this was my specialty, wasn't it? X and Zero wouldn't have been able to make it through the hardest parts of the war without my support.

If there's the main role of Hunters retiring Mavericks and the support role to help those Hunters, then I gladly take the support role. They need it in order to stay strong and keep helping others, after all. No one can do everything by themselves.

"Keep attacking the joints! They're the only part that's unprotected by its armor!" I advised the Hunters. The mechaniloid had been giving them some trouble. The biggest problem was its size and the various grabbers attached to it. It had originally designed to help with construction, after all. They were meant to pick up boulders, but unfortunately, they were quite proficient at taking a hold of Reploids that were small in comparison.

Several of the soldiers had been severely wounded, but judging by their life signs displayed on a separate monitor, they would hold up for now.

In the back of my mind, I knew that if X was here, things would have been easier. He was probably the most skilled Hunter in the HQ, and that was true even with Zero here. The two of them were essentially matched in terms of strength in skill. There seemed to be nothing on Earth the two of them _couldn't_ defeat.

But X wasn't on this mission, and Zero... he wouldn't be able to go on any missions ever again. It pained me to think that. I had gotten so used to hearing his voice over the intercom, and I saw him in the halls a lot-usually with X. It was just something I expected to see: the two of them talking about whatever happened to cross their minds.

But thinking about that wasn't necessary right now. It would only interfere with my concentration. And if there is one thing I simply _cannot_ allow, it's losing my focus.

Especially since something strange started happening on the monitor almost as soon as I brought myself back to reality. Three Reploids jumped to the scene, none of them belonging to the Hunters, slashing and shooting at the mechaniloid like they were some kind of squadron.

I felt an inflating balloon of annoyance welling up in my chest. Vigilantes. I always hated them. I mean, if you have the skill and drive to do a Hunters' job, then for Pete's sake, _become a Hunter!_ You know, where there are _actual rules_ and you _won't_ be treated like a criminal for doing what you think is right!

This wasn't the first time vigilantes had come out of nowhere during a mission, either. It happened a week or so ago, as well. And the last time, they escaped. I would have to make it clear to these troops that they couldn't make that mistake again.

And sure enough, some of the members of the 17th Unit-X's Unit-started going after the vigilantes in an attempt to restrain them. And as a Navigator, it was my job to provide an analysis to help the Hunters carry out their task. And thus, I went into full-scale Analyzing Mode. I had to look for weak spots, and determine how to get to those weak spots.

One of them was tall, wielded a double-edged scythe, and was missing one of his eyes. Another was clearly water-based, resembling a flying fish; he, of course, was using various water weapons. The third was smaller than the other two and used twin guns-they seemed to specialize in firing rapid shots.

I used the various scanners laid out in front of me to help discover any parts of their armor that was frail, or if there was an imbalance in their fighting style. I could hear various yells and a horrendous din from all the sounds of combat. It was something I had grown used to by now, but that didn't make it any less stressful to listen to.

"Alright-Alice!" I exclaimed. "The aquatic one appears to be sensitive to electricity. If you can shock him enough to keep him restrained, we can teleport him to HQ once we're done here. Remember, we have to keep them alive. Jacob, Steven, and Carlos, you three keep the scythe one busy. And stay out of swinging range!" I paused to collect my thoughts before continuing. Sometimes I feel like I give more strategic advice than their own Captains do. "Allen, Cifer, try to disarm the gunned one. The same goes for everyone else's targets!"

I took a deep breath. This appeared to be the same group as last time-the group called "Red Alert", I believe. I had to admit, their attacks were well-coordinated. They were successful in helping the Hunters take down the mechaniloid (whose collapse onto the ground was quite jarring with how loud it was) and they had already started their escape attempt. It made me angry, to be honest. They thought they could just come in and finish the Hunter's job for us? They had appeared in a lot of other incidents, too-most of the time, Red Alert had taken care of things before the Hunters even got there.

I could hear their conversation through my communicator, as well. It made concentrating on my job annoyingly difficult.

"Get back here, you vigilantes!" one of the Hunters yelled.

"Oh, great, now we've got some fifty Hunters on our tail. Was this _really_ our best course of action, Red?" the aquatic Reploid asked sarcastically.

"We can discuss this later, Warfly. _After_ we've made our escape!" the one called Red responded.

"Why can't we just attack them?" the gun-wielding one wondered. "I mean, I know they're the good guys and all, but come on! They're trying to skewer us over here!"

"Maybe we wouldn't be trying to if you hadn't been breaking the law!" a Hunter backfired. I really wanted to just yell at them to shut up and let me focus, but somehow that seemed both unnecessary and unprofessional. So I kept my mouth shut and focused instead on the mission itself.

To be completely honest, the vigilantes were making an effective escape. But I knew their success wouldn't last long. With so many Hunters chasing after them, there weren't many escape routes we _couldn't_ cover. Still, I was growing concerned over the status of the troops. With the teleportation signal no longer jammed, I had transported the wounded to the sick bay, but the ones left were getting roughed up pretty hard by the Red Alert crew.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar sound over the communicator-a charging sound. In a whirl of energy, a charged blast had separated the vigilantes, somehow managing to avoid damaging the other Hunters. There weren't many people I knew of that were capable of making such a precise, well-calculated shot.

It was X. And he didn't look all that happy, either.

"I go on a vacation for _two weeks_ and then _this_ happens," he commented irritably. "I feel like some kind of babysitter for the universe."

There was humor in his voice, but there was a distinct amount of annoyance and a little bit of... hopelessness mixed in there, too. It made me worry a little about how he was handling the stress of being a soldier nowadays. Still, I was glad to see him help out again.

* * *

Of course Red Alert had appeared again while I was on vacation. Could my mind have no rest? Could I not even have time for myself, for my own grief? And really, why was I even surprised at this point? It was always like this. _Always._ No matter what happened, all the effort I put in protecting everyone had to be ruined by some other villain. And Red Alert interrupting my time alone, away from all that, had just sent me over the edge.

I let out a flurry of buster shots, keeping my aim focused on the scythe-wielding one before switching opponents. The three... _jerks_ jumped out of the way, utilizing the nearby buildings as a means for escape. But they weren't the only ones who specialized in wall-kicking. I chased after them, and I noticed that some of the other Hunters followed my lead as well.

I was not about to let these-these _peace-breakers_ ruin anyone's lives! No more of that! I've had enough. Six times more than enough. And I didn't care if they were supposedly trying to "fight for peace", they were doing it illegally, and I was just angry enough in that moment to not care about trying to find a diplomatic solution. Had the diplomatic solution ever worked before? Had it _ever_ , in any point in history? No! So if these three wanted to be the subjects for me to direct my rage at, then you know what, fine. I've already had enough of their shenanigans.

Firing more shots at them, I managed to overhear some of what they were saying, but I wasn't really paying that much attention. The only thing that really got through was:

" _Surprise!_ "

One of the vigilantes-he had spiky hair and two guns-suddenly stopped in _midair,_ turned to face me, and the next thing I knew, I had recieved a face-full of pain. He had kicked me in the face, ruining my position on the wall and sending me tumbling downwards. I quickly regained my focus, using my midair dash to climb back on the wall.

So, the spiky-haired one could hover. I'd have to watch out for that in the future. But right now, I had to focus on the fact that the Red Alert crew had already made it to the top of the building and were escaping! Climbing up the building would take too much time now.

As if on cue, I heard Alia's voice through my communicator.

"X! If you can get through the window above you, you can get to the other side of the building and catch up with Red Alert!" she advised. I knew which window she was talking about. It was easy to slide open, and once through, I ran to the other side as quickly as I could, thanking Alia for her advice.

The window opposite to me was already open, so leaped out of it, attempting to locate my opponents. There! They were in an alleyway. They sure knew how to travel quickly, but the alley wasn't very far. I could make it there in time to catch them. I hadn't even noticed the other Hunters around me. It was just me and my enemies. And those enemies were going to pay for disrupting the peace.

Why was everyone so intent on ruining everything for everyone? What purpose could it possibly serve? They were all so absorbed in themselves that they couldn't bring themselves to care about peace. It's like they were all working together to make everyone's lives a little more miserable for their own horrid pleasure. Well, I already knew how law-breakers worked. That lack of respect they had would be the end of them-and I was going to make sure of it.

* * *

It was later that day. I was in the Maverick Hunters HQ, pacing back and forth, feeling both irritable and guilty. What was my problem? I had gotten so worked up in that last fight that...

Was it stress? Depression? Some combination of the two? I couldn't remember being that angry in a long time. All I knew was that I didn't like it. Sure, with my assistance, we had managed to capture one of the vigilantes-but something about it felt wrong. I already knew it was me, but on that note, what was wrong with me? I kept replaying the scene over and over in my mind, trying to figure out where that rage had been coming from.

* * *

 _The three of them had been cornered. With a wall on one side and a batch of hunters on three other sides, they looked about ready to fight. Which was just fine by me; they deserved to be pummeled for disrupting peace._

 _I charged, firing at will, keeping my aim focused on what I assumed were weak points. Joints were always important to hit, as well as any viewable power sources. Soon enough, everything became a whirl of energy bullets, slashes, and dodging. A kick aimed at my head? Dodge that. Follow it up with a halfway-charged shot to the face and they were left open for just a few moments. That was all I needed, really._

 _I heard screaming. Some of the troops were getting badly hurt. But I already was used to the screaming. I had done a lot of screaming in my time and had inflicted just as much on others, if not more. They were awfully grating on the ears, though, making it difficult to concentrate. But I didn't need to concentrate. I just had to fight. After all, that's how it always was. This is just how things go._

 _I gritted my teeth in frustration. Were they really trying to escape_ again? _Well, not on my watch, they wouldn't. I tackled one of them to the ground before he could teleport away with the rest of them, and then everything became a series of kicks and punches. I'm pretty sure my face was starting to hurt, but I didn't care. This guy was_ not _going to escape again. That's how they come back. That's how they continue to ruin everyone's lives._

 _I felt angry, like my blood was starting to boil. Which was strange, since Reploids don't really have proper blood, but that wasn't important now, was it? I vaguely acknowledged my opponent letting out a yell as I tore one of his arms off._

 _Funny. I was trying to get him to drop his gun. Which was evidently what ended up happening, but I guess I put a little too much force into that arm twist. But he deserved it! He was nothing but scum, wasn't he? They were all scum! Was there anyone in this world that_ wasn't?!

 _"X, stop! He's finished! We're trying to keep him_ alive, _remember?!" Alia's panicked voice demanded from my communicator._

 _Wait... what? Keep him alive? He was alive. He didn't deserve to be, did he-no, wait... what was happening?_

 _Snapping back to reality, I realized that some I was being restrained. By the Hunters? Why was_ I _the one being restrained? It was that vigilante who was the criminal, not me. But... looking down at him, I realized just how injured he was. One of his arms was missing, his armor was cracked in various places, his face was badly bruised-had I done that all by myself? I didn't recall him looking very injured before now. His helmet looked like it had been bashed in, too._

 _What was wrong with me? Was_ I _the criminal here? Oh, no... how badly had those wars affected me without me realizing it?_

* * *

I wanted to kick something. I had unnecessarily harmed a Reploid-how was I supposed to live with that? Hadn't I always vowed to never hurt an innocent?

Yes, he was breaking the law. But it wasn't something that deserved _that_ much punishment. Even when I was ordered to kill those members of Repliforce, they were at least doing something that deserved that punishment, at least in the eyes of everyone else. I hadn't wanted to kill them, though. The same for all of the other Mavericks I had to destroy. Why had I been so intent on... on killing this one vigilante?

And worse yet, how was I supposed to make this up to him? He was in the Hunter HQ brig at the moment, and apologizing to a prisoner was pretty strange. But he at least deserved something. I knew that much. An apology wouldn't mean much from someone who had assaulted you, but for my own peace of mind, I headed over to his cell.

Once there, I asked the guard to let me talk to him, to which he grudgingly allowed. I think he was worried I might attack him again. Either that, or he didn't like visitors. Or me. I don't know. It was probably me. Everyone seemed to have some issue with me.

The spiky-haired Reploid gave me a cold look as I approached. I hadn't even said one word before he started talking.

"Oh, look. It's my favorite person in the universe," he remarked sarcastically. "Are you here to execute me? You seemed to be awfully keen on that." I winced a little at his words, but tried to keep my composure.

"Look, um... what was your name, again?" I asked. It would be hard to apologize to someone without even knowing their name. He kept his glaring expression firm and almost unmoving.

"I don't know why you of all people would care, but fine. It's Axl," he replied. "And I already know who _you_ are. You're X. You know, somehow this _isn't_ how I imagined our first conversation. I was thinking a few less aching bones, a bit more of me acting like an idiot..." I felt a stab of guilt go through me again.

"I'm sorry about that. And I don't know what came over me back there; you didn't deserve that. So-" I was cut off mid-sentence by Axl.

"You're darn right I didn't deserve that! I mean, I know vigilantism is illegal and all, but jeez, I wasn't expecting to get _disassembled_ for it!" he exclaimed. In spite of myself, I felt a bit of annoyance rise within me.

"I'm _trying_ to apologize for that. I want you to know that for whatever happened back there, I regret it, and I'm _sorry_." I think my voice started to break a little at that last part. Axl didn't seem to notice and instead let out a brief, humorless laugh.

"Hah! Yes, because an apology _definitely_ makes up for my temporary lack of-oh, what was it? That's right, _my arm!_ You're going to have to do a _little_ better than that, X." I sighed in annoyance.

"You're not exactly making this whole "apologizing" thing easy for me over here." I said. Axl waved his hand in a dismissive fashion.

"Apologizing is never easy. Maybe you should just go back to mauling people to death. You seem to be pretty good at that."

That did it. I felt like such a monster in that moment, I'm not even sure how to describe it. I wanted to yell at him, to say that he had no idea what he was talking about, but in reality, he was right. I had become so good at killing that it was becoming an instinct. How else could I explain my outburst?

I turned and ran out of that cell room at fast as I could. What was I supposed to do? I was becoming nothing more than a weapon. A weapon! I knew how to kill people, Reploids, all of them! What was going to stop me from doing that again?!

But where could I go? Where would people be safe from me?

That's right. Zero. I had to get to Zero. He would know what to do! He had been through all this before, hadn't he? When he discovered what he was originally made for? He could help me. And that force field around him would protect him from me at the same time. Yes. I knew where I was going now. I just had to get there, first.

When I finally reached my destination, however, I realized the cold, hard fact that I had almost forgotten in my race to get here.

Zero was still dead.

I collapsed onto my knees. This was more than I came prepared for. I was losing control of myself, and the one person who actually knew what I was going through could not help me. He was gone. And he wouldn't be coming back.

There wasn't much left for me to do now except let out a frustrated, sorrowful scream.

* * *

I was looking for X. I had seen him storm off yesterday, but I didn't know where he went or when he came back. But it was likely that he returned to his house. He seemed to be spending a lot of time there, actually. And I was worried about him. It wasn't good for him to spend this much time alone. He needed someone to be there for him, and I was willing to be that someone.

I hesitated when I approached his front door. What if he wasn't home? Then again, I had searched just about everywhere else, so this seemed to be the most likely option.

I knocked. No answer. I knocked again. Still nothing. Maybe if I said something? That might get him to open up.

"X? X, are you in there?" I asked aloud. I didn't hear a response, but part of me wondered if he was just ignoring me. I wouldn't be surprised; yesterday had gone pretty terribly for him after all. I took a deep breath.

"X, if you're in there, then I want you to know that I forgive you. We all have our outbursts. With all that you've been through, I can't say I'm surprised. You must have had this building up for some time, now..." I paused. "I'm not saying it's okay for you to take your frustrations out on other people. But I know this is all somehow connected to your own sadness, and I think you need someone to help you out, here.

"If you don't want to talk to me, then that's fine, too. I just need you to know that you're not alone. I'm still here, you know. And you can talk to me about anything. I may not be the best emotional support, but we're friends, right?" I paused again. Somehow, it was stress-relieving, saying all this out loud instead of thinking it silently towards him.

"I know you miss Zero. We all do. And I'm not just saying that to make you feel better about yourself: it's the truth. I may not have known him as long or as personally as you did, but trust me when I say that you're not the only one who's been saddened by his loss."

I took a moment to think that over. It really was true, wasn't it? That Zero was gone, and I would never get to see him or hear his voice again. I was closer to Zero and X than I was with any of the other soldiers. I saw Zero as a friend; losing a friend always makes you feel terrible. What's worse was that, for a while, I felt guilty for it. Yes, it was his decision, but once again, I couldn't do anything to stop him.

"I want you to come out of there, X," I said softly. "We've already lost Zero. And as horrible as that is, I don't want to have to lose you, too. You mean too much to me."

One thing I had never been able to tell X was exactly how much I cared about him. I wasn't sure how he managed to do it, but from our interactions, he had pushed my feelings for him beyond even that of friendship. I remembered how many times I had tried to tell him, only to lose my confidence and quickly change the subject. I don't know if he ever caught on.

"Alia? What are you doing here?" a voice said from behind me.

I let out a yelp and quickly spun around. What was X doing here? Wasn't he inside the house?

"Um... I was looking for you, actually," I stammered, "I assumed you were in your house. Where have you been?"

Apparently that wasn't the best question to ask, because as soon as it came out of my mouth, he looked troubled. And, well, I figured that now wouldn't be a good time to push him, so I quickly changed the subject. "Well, never mind! Do you want some tea? You like tea, right?"

He smiled.

"Sure. Tea sounds good right about now. Here, let's go inside."

Tea with X, huh? Thinking about it now, that wouldn't be a bad way to spend the evening. Especially if it took his mind off of everything that was troubling him.

* * *

 **Author's Notes: I like writing from Alia's point of view. I don't know why. Also, apparently X loves tea.**

 **I always felt like X would have some sort of violence-based trauma. I mean, the guy has been in six wars by now. SIX WARS! And they were all being orchestrated by the _same person!_ If that doesn't leave you feeling like there's always an enemy to fight (not to mention feeling 5,000% _done_ with everything) then I don't know what does.**

 **Also, I cannot write action scenes. Motivational speeches and angst, now _that_ I can do. XD**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please review! :)**

 **EDIT: AAAAGGHHHHHHH I'M SO SORRY YOU GUYS! I ONLY JUST NOW REALIZED THAT I SCREWED UP THE ENTIRE TIMELINE. ZERO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PUT IN ANOTHER BODY _DURING_ THE ELF WARS, NOT BEFORE! I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT! THIS IS NOW OFFICIALLY A MINOR AU. GAH. IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE AN AU. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO FIT NICELY WITHIN THE CANON. HHHNNNNNNGGGGGG-!**

 **Ahem. Sorry about that. I hope the canon errors don't make this story any less enjoyable for you! So sorry about that! But I'm not going to rewrite it because that would throw off everything I've been setting up for later chapters. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE MEGAMAN FRANCHISE. ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO CAPCOM.**

 **Well, I worked long and hard on this. Hopefully it turned out alright. This plot is getting hard for me to figure out at times.**

* * *

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

I hardly batted an eye when I heard the sound. I stayed put, stubbornly refusing the blaring noise of an alarm clock take me away from my peaceful sleep. It could just keep ringing for all I cared.

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

It could wait a few more minutes. Or hours. The rest of the day, maybe. That sounded nice.

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

Okay, maybe I could turn it off, first. That would make sleeping a little easier. I mustered what little energy I had to force myself to move my arm a few inches, finally turning off the alarm clock. Of course, my internal clock was still telling me in that imaginary voice, "Hey. It's 10:14 am. Get up. Recharge. _Do things, you moron."_

Instead, I rolled over in my bed and ignored the thing. Part of me knew that having an alarm clock as well as an internal clock was what one would consider "overkill", but I didn't care. Sometimes I needed the extra reminders.

Of course, right now I was going to ignore both of them. All I wanted to do right now was sleep. Sleeping was nice. It was peaceful; relaxing, even. And besides, I was on vacation. If I wanted to spend the whole day sleeping, then it was totally within my rights to do just that.

Some people think that all Reploids are completely awake when they first activate in the morning; that we're incapable of sleeping in because of our internal clocks. That's not necessarily true. We need time to recharge after waking up, just like humans. Or at least, I did. I wasn't really sure about everyone else. Although Zero always had this weird ability to be alert after being awake for two seconds flat.

But the main problem for me right now was that I wasn't going back to sleep, no matter how much I wanted to. It was like my mind had just decided, "No. You don't _get_ to sleep all day. Life doesn't like you enough to let you do that."

To which I wanted to tell my mind to shut up, let me sleep, I didn't care what life thought about me, leave me alone. But it would always reply with, " _Awaaaakeeeennn… you broken piece of sleepiness…"_

…My head voices were getting _weird._

So, in an attempt to think about something _other_ than the fact I was having bizarre conversations with myself, I shifted my focus to something closer to what my actual mood was. Unfortunately, my mood was not what one would call "pleasant" at the moment.

I just kept thinking about the incident three days ago. I hadn't felt good about it then, and I certainly wasn't feeling any better about it now. I mean, Axl and the rest of Red Alert had only been doing what they thought was right. They were doing the same thing I had for years now: killing Mavericks. The only difference was that they were doing so illegally. But in the end, the result was the same, wasn't it? Mavericks were still being killed. People were still being saved. Reploids were still losing their family and friends to the virus.

I groaned. _This_ was why I wanted to go back to sleep. Thinking about this sort of thing was tearing me apart, and I couldn't do anything about it. If I was asleep, I might finally get a break. Didn't I deserve that much?

Of course, part of me knew that even if I went to sleep, I would still have dreams. And those dreams had been turning into nightmares as of late. So now I was stuck in a no-win situation: Get up and go through the day feeling miserable, go back to sleep and potentially be tormented by horrid visions, or lay here all day, doing nothing, stewing in my own thoughts.

What was the point? I would be miserable no matter what, regardless of which path I decided to take. I wasn't about to give up on trying—I was feeling too lazy for the emotional requirement for giving up—but I had to figure out what I was going to do with my day, or I would just drive myself insane.

Driving yourself insane, I realized, took noticeably less effort than giving up. See, insanity just throws itself at you when the circumstances allow it. You can't really control it. Giving up, however— _that_ you actually have to _decide_ to do.

And let's face it, when you've slept for 19 hours straight, making decisions is _not_ something you feel like doing.

So instead I just lay there for a while. I wondered if Axl would ever stop hating me. Most likely not; it's hard to stop holding a grudge against someone who tried to kill you. And yet, I realized that I didn't like the thought of anyone holding such strong, negative emotions towards me. I wasn't a bad person… right?

But then, how do you define a "bad person?" I already knew, but now it was hard to think of myself as being any better than them. After all, a bad person hurts others who don't deserve it, right? And wasn't that essentially what the Mavericks were?

Mavericks didn't deserve their fate. They didn't _choose_ to lose their sanity, to become such a threat to everyone else. They were all good people before the virus. And yet I had killed them. I killed them all, stole their weapons, and then proceeded to use their specific weakness in order to kill more of them. To me, that sounded like the definition of a horrible person.

Yes, they were committing crimes. They were harming, even killing innocent people. And for that reason, I had to destroy them. There was no other way to protect everyone. I had accepted that. And yet, as I said before, it wasn't them that was so much the problem as the virus that was making them do it. The Reploids themselves were innocent. And yet I destroyed them anyway. I had tried to kill Axl, too.

And because there was no cure, forty-eight Reploids had died. Even more than that, actually, but I had stolen weapon data from forty-eight of them. Even though I deleted the data (feeling them linger in my database had been like being haunted by ghosts) that didn't change what I had done. I was caught in a tangle of terrible options: fight the Mavericks and continue to kill Reploids who were not at fault, not stop fighting and allow even more innocents to be killed in the process.

I somehow managed to let out a bitter laugh. There was just no escaping my fate, was there? Either way, I would be doing something terrible. But that's just how life was, no matter how I wanted everything to be different. I sighed. _Well, there's not going to be any winning if you don't get up,_ I reasoned.

I dragged myself out of bed. I wanted to go somewhere, in stark contrast to my previous feeling of not wanting to do anything. I suddenly felt that if I didn't leave this cramped house as soon as possible, then I would suffocate to death. Odd, since I wasn't even capable of suffocating.

Where would I go, was the question. I didn't want to go to the HQ just yet—in fact, I didn't even want to be around other people. Maybe I would visit a nearby forest.

Truthfully speaking, I wanted to see Zero. But after my breakdown next to him a few days ago, going back there seemed strange. On the other hand, maybe I should let him know that I'm doing alright. The problem was, I _wasn't_ doing alright. And I wasn't about to go around, lying to my best friend. That would just make everything worse.

I couldn't handle it being worse. If things got any worse I would lose my mind. After all, wasn't it better to think that I hadn't gone crazy yet, that I was just troubled? I don't think I could count as "insane" until I actually started hallucinating or something. Besides, I still wanted to say something to Zero to make up for my recent breakdown.

Sure, he couldn't hear me, but I tried to think of it as him being a good listener. After all, wouldn't that be easier than seeing him as dead?

* * *

"I know I'm being held prisoner and all, but…" I began, a distinct spark of annoyance rising within me, "…but could this place get _any_ more boring?! What, prison cells can't afford to be equipped with a TV and some video games?! At this rate, I'll die of boredom before old age sets in! And I don't even age!"

The guard outside my holding cell didn't respond. Not that I expected him to. Professional guards always seemed to have this thing about not talking to their prisoners. I couldn't understand why. It was as though talking to someone was going to throw the universe out of balance or something. Or maybe they just liked listening to their prisoners have one-sided conversations with themselves.

But hey, what did I expect? I was in Maverick Hunter custody. It's not as though they actually cared who they were imprisoning or why. To be honest, I never really trusted how the government manages things. They get so worked up on protocols and technicalities that they don't always get the job done.

That's where me and friends at Red Alert usually came in. We took care of what the Maverick Hunters couldn't—or didn't. We were like an unofficial back-up team. We came in when the going got tough, or if they simply weren't there in time. And now I was being punished for it. Didn't that seem incredibly hypocritical to them? We were doing the exact same thing they were, and we were being treated like the very scum we fight.

Not to mention the fact that I had been assaulted—by my own idol, even! —and I hadn't even been doing anything wrong. What had I done that deserved my own arm as a price?!

"You know," I started again, trying to change my own subject, "I find it strange that you arrest someone, spend several hours of your work time around them, and then don't even say anything. Isn't that boring? I mean, don't you ever want to do anything better with your time?"

"If you're trying to manipulate me into abandoning my post, you can forget it," the guard finally growled. "You're a criminal, and I'm here to keep an eye on you, and make sure no one else tries to break in to get you out. Nothing you say is going to stop me from performing my duty." I raised an eyebrow. What kind of response was that?

"Hey, I'm just trying to make conversation here. Jeez, the second I open my mouth you think I'm trying to manipulate you into letting me go. Uptight, much?" I questioned. The guard gave me an annoyed look.

I sighed and motioned to the barred door that kept me locked in. "Even if I _had_ made you leave, it's not like I could get out. These bars are reinforced with a force field that generates an electric shock if too much pressure is applied to it. The same with the rest of the room. There's no way to forcefully bust myself out of here without passing out several times in the process—and in that case, you could easily move me into a new cell while I'm out. Rinse and repeat." I sighed. "As much as I don't like it, I'm stuck here until HQ finally decides to let me go."

The guard gave me a suspicious look.

"How did you know about the force field?" he asked. "No one here has mentioned it to you, and I have neither seen nor heard of you finding out about it the hard way. Could it be…" he narrowed his eyes. "…that you have spies within the Hunter base?"

I stared at him dumbfounded.

"Um. The residual traces of elothime? It's gathering like dust in here. Elothime's used in tons of electrically-powered pressure-sensors, since it's practically self-sustaining. And since I'm not constantly being electrocuted, there must be a force field preventing this metal room from acting like a freaky conductor." I said like it was the most obvious thing in the universe. This time it was the guard's turn to stare.

"…You _saw_ residual traces of elothime? That stuff's supposed to be invisible," he said, a judgmental look in his eyes. I blinked in response.

"Really? The stuff shimmers like a heatwave in certain lighting," I pointed out. "Otherwise it just looks like dirt. Makes the place look hideous."

I didn't get what he was staring at me about. I was just using basic reasoning. What, he thought that my childish appearance meant that I was stupid or something? I thought that stereotype was only used by humans!

Of course, it could always be something different, but I didn't feel like trying to come up with what it might be. But the guard finally stopped staring, and seeing as I most likely wasn't going to get a good conversation from him, I shifted my attention to the wall in front of me.

It really _was_ boring in here. These last few days—and I knew it was days because my internal clock kept me updated—had felt long and empty. Almost like a dream, really. Prisoners were treated fairly well by the Maverick Hunters in terms of Jail Logic, but most of the day I was in my prison cell. I can't possibly describe how boring that is without using similes, so let me just say that: It was like my brain was melting from sheer boredom.

What was I supposed to _do_ in here? I could always sing, I guess, but that would give me a weird reputation. So most of the time, I ended up thinking. And the things I had to think about were less than optimistic.

Like the fact that I recently _lost my left arm_ and had it reattached soon afterwards. I kept bending my elbow up and down, clenching and unclenching my fist, just to make sure it was still there. I had been in so much physical pain when I was teleported to the HQ that I think I passed out at some point. Have you ever had your arm torn off from the elbow down? It hurts. It hurts, and you're convinced you're about to die because there's synth-blood everywhere, and you can't _move—_

I slapped myself, earning me a strange look from my guard. But hey, internal slapping just wasn't going to cut it. _You still have your arm, doofus,_ I berated myself. _Get over it and stop being a baby._

That was how I handled most of my struggles, really. Get over it, move on, it's in the past now, forget about it. I mean, there's no time like the present, right? So I just had to deal with the present.

Which was how I encountered my next problem: The present was utterly boring and stupid.

I mean, not only was there nothing to do, I was forced to think about the fact that X, the person I had admired for years, had assaulted me with hatred in his eyes. I hadn't even met him before then and he already hated me. He tried to apologize for it, but quite frankly, I wasn't buying it. You don't just try to murder someone and be all like, "Yeah, that was totally an accident. My bad!"

If recent events had taught me anything, it's that people aren't always what they seem to be. X had seemed so amazing in my eyes: he was fast, powerful, and he had helped save the world _six times_ by now! There were so many stories about his bravery and compassion that I wanted nothing more than to meet him face-to-face. Now I _had_ and… well… now I might as well have lost _both_ of my idols.

My other idol being Zero, X's partner. He was just as amazing as I had seen X. He wielded his infamous Z-Saber into battle, slaying any Mavericks that got in his way! But… he had died recently. It was some five years ago now, but I was really upset by it. He seemed invincible; how could anything have taken him out? The worst part was that now I would never get to meet him, the Reploid I had admired for as long as I can remember. And now, having met X, I'd lost most of my respect for him. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he and Zero saved everyone so many times, but I don't think I could forgive him for attacking me like that. I anxiously held my left arm with my other hand, wishing I could stop thinking about past events.

"Hey, kid," my guard said suddenly. "There's someone on the line who wants to talk to you."

I blinked. Whoever that caller was, they had to have been psychic or something.

"Um, okay. Patch it through," I replied, wondering who the caller was. There was a slight static sound as the call was sent to my communicator—which was now turned off most of the time.

" _Hey, Axl!"_ a familiar voice said through the intercom. My eyes widened. It was Gungaroo, one of my closest friends from Red Alert.

"Gungaroo? Why are you calling?" I asked, surprised by his sudden communication.

" _What, you're not happy to hear me?"_ he said teasingly. _"I came to give you good news. See, everyone here's pretty eager to get you back, although Warfly refuses to say it outright. So we've been thinking: if we can somehow break through the transporter-jammer around that cell of yours, we can get you out of there no problem!"_

"Wait, what?" I said, befuddled. "You're actually going to try that? Are you _nuts?_ I can more than handle myself in this dumpster! You don't need to go around, sending gifts and techno-babble to my barred doorstep."

" _Huh?"_ Gungaroo wondered aloud. I sighed. Did I _really_ have to explain to him that I couldn't reference anything involving an escape plan next to a guard in a prison? He was really slow sometimes. But I think he eventually caught on, because he continued talking after a few moments.

" _Oh, come on, don't tell me you actually_ want _to stay there? You_ just _called it a dumpster."_ He replied. I was starting to get annoyed at the fact that I now had to explain things to him while also trying not to get the guard's attention.

"Look," I started, "I know you're worried and all that. But spamming the HQ's phone receiver or whatever they're calling it nowadays isn't going to make them very happy with us. Our relationship with the Hunters is strained enough as it is, annoying them isn't going to help anything." That was reasonable enough, wasn't it? Besides, as much as I hated being in here, it would only be for a month or so. I could spend that time doing… something. Maybe sleep. Sleeping was good, and I dreamt a lot. My dreams could keep me entertained until I had to leave.

Okay, so that idea sounded lame. But hey, I was trying to keep my friends out of a world of pain, here! The Hunters were no joke—they could be thorough when the circumstances called for it. And since we were now apparently wanted criminals for protecting civilians—I will never understand that—they would be a thorn in our sides more than they usually were.

" _Sorry, Axl,"_ Gungaroo began, sounding incredibly plucky given the situation, _"but Red's pretty intent on getting you out of there. Because he's awesome like that. And I'm gonna get bored over here without you to annoy, so—"_

"I knew it! You _do_ take pleasure in driving me up the wall!" I interjected, feeling like I had just won a gold medal for something.

" _Oh, shut up! You do the exact same thing!"_ he pouted. Then, sounding more serious, _"Look, we're going to get you out of there. I just thought I'd give you a warning, first."_

"I could sit here and argue with you all day as to why that idea sucks…" I began, "…but I'm feeling too lazy. And nothing I say is going to stop you, so I'm going to let the matter drop for now."

" _If you say so, pineapple-head. I'm hanging up now."_

The signal was cut, indicating that Gungaroo had done just that. I sighed. Now I had to deal with the fact that I was going to be teleported out of here at random, which meant that there was going to be a lot of fighting with the Hunters soon. On one hand, I was glad to finally have an opportunity to get out of this place, but on the other hand… I didn't want to fight the Maverick Hunters. These were the guys who managed to take down Sigma! _Six times!_ And besides, we considered ourselves their allies, didn't we? I didn't want to fight them, no matter how much I loved shooting things.

Except maybe X. Some payback sounded nice right about now. So did fries, actually, but mostly payback. That guy had tried to kill me; I wasn't about to let him get away with it.

* * *

"Would it be bad for me to slap myself right now?" I wondered out loud. "I mean, I know I deserve it, but it's not like anyone else is going to."

Pondering that thought for a few moments, I proceeded to smack myself across the face. " _Ow…_ I hit _hard_ when I'm stressed…" I grumbled.

In spite of my better judgement, I was standing before Zero yet again. Shouldn't I have stopped doing this by now? Seeing him only made me upset, didn't it? On the other hand, it was almost therapeutic, in a weird sort of way. I knew I could say anything to Zero, and he would be listening. That's right; he was just listening. Besides, he looked peaceful, and it was nice to know that at least one of us was at peace with the whole situation.

I had already apologized repeatedly to him for freaking out a few days ago in front of him. But now it was back to me trying to find answers that might not be there, from someone who could not give me any.

"…So, I've already gone over _why_ I deserved that… how have you been doing?" I asked, wondering why I would ask something like that to someone who was sleeping. I was only met with silence, after all. I sighed. "Well, okay, I guess you don't feel like talking right now. That's okay, I can wait. Just… make it soon, okay? It's starting to get lonely out here."

Oh, who was I kidding? It had been lonely ever since Zero had locked himself up here. But I wasn't about to say that. Besides, if he had been listening at all, then he would have already known, anyways. So instead, I knelt onto the ground, switching topics to keep the conversation going.

"You know, I keep getting this feeling… like there's still someone I need to fight," I began slowly, wondering once again why I was saying any of this. "Like Sigma is still out there, hatching some scheme and hurting others. I mean… he's come back five times already. What's to stop him from coming back again?" I took a deep breath. I noticed that I had been taking a lot of deep breaths lately. Was I really becoming that unstable?

"Each time, it was a different body, but it was still Sigma. I didn't understand it… what was he even trying to accomplish at that point? I guess it doesn't matter, but… I know he's out there, Zero. If not him, then someone else is going to take his place. I just know it. That's how this cycle keeps going, isn't it? They keep coming back. Sigma, Vile… always. How long until something else happens?"

I suddenly realized that my breaths had become rapid and shaky. In fact, I was shaking all over. _Calm down, X,_ I told myself. But how was I supposed to calm down? There were still criminals out there. Disastrous people that needed to be dealt with. It didn't matter if they had been innocent before, just take them down. That's what I had always been doing, ever since the first war. How could it end? How could it possibly-?

I slapped myself again. "Idiot! S-stop that already! You're freaking Zero out!"

I paused. Had I just said that out loud? Oh, great, I was talking to myself. Now I really _was_ going crazy! I knew I had been right when I thought that insanity comes to you by itself. I certainly hadn't decided to become this way. I sighed in defeat, finally regulating my own breathing again.

"I'm sorry, Zero. I shouldn't keep freaking out like that, especially not in front of you. I don't know what's gotten into me lately; it's like things have deliberately gone downhill again." I apologized. I looked at him. He was still sleeping, like always. Once again I noticed just how different he looked; mannerisms aside, his facial structure was different, almost making him look younger; his helmet was now black where the white usually was; and his hair, while just as long as it was before, wasn't nearly as bushy as it had been. But he was still recognizable. To me, at least. Sometimes I wondered if I had become as different as him. I recall having a certain amount of confidence—probably because I knew Zero would always be there to help me through anything. Oh, how wrong I had been about that.

But in the end, I was the one who changed, wasn't I? Zero was still the same. Inactive, yes, but the same as he was before.

"Hey, Zero," I said suddenly. "I was just thinking… I kept thinking about how much everything had changed, but that's not really the case, is it? I mean, look at you; your body may have changed, but your still my friend Zero. I think…" I paused. "…I think as long as I know that, I'll be able to manage… somehow." I managed to smile—it probably looked forced, but it was a smile nonetheless.

And yet… it was as though Fate itself had sensed my calmness and decided that had to go, because Alia's voice suddenly came through my communicator.

"Hey, X? Can you hear me?" she asked.

I jumped, letting out a yelp of surprise.

"Alia?! Y-yes, I can hear you," I replied, startled.

"Sorry to bother you, X, but… remember when you told me to keep you posted in case anything came up?"

Oh, no. No, no, no. What happened? Had anyone died? Oh, God, it was happening again, who was I about to have to kill?

"Well," Alia began, "this may not be what you had in mind when you said that… but someone's trying to hack into the Maverick Hunter HQ's database. We may need your help later when we find the source."

I sighed. I muted my communicator briefly.

"Well, Zero… looks like I was right after all." Then, unmuting my communicator, "I'll be right there. I'll get to the nearest teleportation site as soon as I can."

"Roger that."

 _I hope this is all over with soon,_ I thought to myself. _Wouldn't it be great if there wasn't any bloodshed?_

* * *

 **Author's Notes: If it wasn't clear by now, I like writing X suffer. I also like writing Axl. He's just awesome. :D**

 **Please review! Your feedback is much appreciated! :)**


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